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Monday, September 16, 2019

Moonshine Marketing at the Mercedes Dealership





So recently I had the opportunity to visit the Smoky Mountains. The newest and "bestest" attraction seems not to be go-carts or a Dolly Parton themed ride but moonshine testing stores.  

The idea is simple. You enter and sign a waiver. Then you are given samples of moonshine. They start with things like “Original"  and "Cinnamon."  Then they move on to more exoticc flavors like "bubblegum,” “candy apple,” or “”Pickle.” Pickle is "the real dill" and comes with actual pickles.  Our group went wile when we heard this.  Many were about to pass out with joy... or intoxication... when we learned one was called "carrot cake."

"I love carrot cake and moonshine!   I can get those together!"

Then the host rolls out a three minute rally on patriotism.  "We are about to try "Old Red, White, and Blue!  That's right!  Moonshine to celebrate your freedom!  Freedom for what?  That's right! To drink more Shine!!  Whose in?"

Image result for patriotic moonshine

After five or six samples the visitor doesn’t really care about the names or subtle nuances anymore. 
“This next one," the pretty girl behind the counter says raising a bottle of shine to fill taster's shot glasses,  "we call “raccoon in a trash can”

“Yes please!”

“Then we have a new one we are trying!  We call ‘diesel fuel and armpit hair.”

“I’ll buy the whole case!” someone will shout.  It is more than just a shine tasting.  We have formed a community of shine lovers.  We love our country, our momma, our hostess, our neighbors, and above all, our Shine!  

Overall, it was a happy place to visit. The staff seem to enjoy their job selling moonshine to drunk people and the drunk people seem to appreciate being extorted.

No surprise, the more you sample, the more you buy.  But here is where I had an “ah-ha” moment!  On our way out, perhaps with a patriotic tear and four pints of Freedom Shine or maybe with a warm heart and a pint of Grandma's Apple Pie Shine, we walk directly through the store. Not the moonshine store, but just a regular souvenir store.

Those of us who didn’t partake or stopped at flavors like “strawberry” or “apple cider” were able to run the gauntlet with ease.  However, those carrying 5 pints of “morning dog breath” were goners.

And I have to ask myself, is this legal? Because if it is I think other marketing agencies ought to jump on board. "Whiskey tasting this Saturday at the Mercedes’s Benz dealership. Free whiskey samples in our showroom!  Easy financing!"  A realtor could have a “show of homes that won’t sell and free beer tasting.”  Or maybe even the big chains could offer you a free vodka shot before perusing the electronics aisle?   Of course, it would mean a surge in the need for uber drivers and many might wonder how to fit their new 120" tv into their convertible Mercedes.  But at least they will have a new fixer-upper to go home to.  The possibilities are limitless.

Image result for moonshine pickles

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