Landmark court cases. You know the ones I'm talking about.
1893 Nix v Hedden deciding once for all that the Tomato is a vegetable, not a fruit.
1946 The United States vs Causby clarifying that if a government plane flies over your house and causes your chickens to commit suicide the government is not responsible to buy you new chickens.
1954 Brown v Board of Education stating segregation is illegal.
1972 Yoder v Wisconsin where the Supreme Court decided that if you were drab clothing, ride in horse drawn carriages, and make wood furniture you don't have to educate your children past 8th grade.
1973 Roe v. Wade regarding a woman's right to have an abortion. It is also a great testimony to due process as the decision came three years after it was filed... Roe's baby had already made it past the terrible twos at that point.
1993 Church of the Lukumi Babalu Aye, Inc. v. Hialeah determining you can not sacrifice animals without eating them also. This really can be a set back to new cult groups trying to edge into the American market.
These cases not only cemented important political precedent, but they also changed our daily lives. And today, my friends, I heard of a new one on the horizon.
2019 Prisk v Brown
In this lawsuit, Dr. Victor Prisk is suing Antonio "I keep getting in trouble but I play for the Patriots so it is okay" Brown. The lawsuit claims an unpaid debt of $11,000.... boring....
The game changer is the additional filing (yes, actually filed as part of the court case) that Antonio Brown repeatedly farted in Dr. Prisk's face. Dr. Prisk was administering an exam on Brown and was unable to evacuate the premise.
There is incontrovertible evidence as Antonio had a friend film the escapade.
The question is, of course, whether the court will decide in favor of Dr. Prisk. If they do, this will be a game changer for American Law. How many of us are trapped in cubicles, work rooms, on job sites, in cars, airplanes, and other closed air systems with perpetrators of flatulents. We sufferers who have hid our nose in the thin layer of cotton our shirt provides, set down our lunch never to eat it again, or in panic have waved our hand in front of our face only creating a vortex of odor. We must be unite and strike back at those who would have us beaten down by their gas.
I will be watching this case closely. I for one am a teacher and must not leave my classroom while students are in attendence. Thus, I might be entitled to a wonderful tort settlement should America decided farting in front of a captive audience is a crime.
Some free reading:
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
Landmark Court Case Could Change Everything
In 1991 Dr. Lanza walked up beside me as I headed to lunch. He asked why I hadn't signed up for his creative writing class. I did, and his class changed my life. I then and there decided someday I wanted to write. Fast forward 25 years... After several careers I stepped into teaching so I could have time to write. Thus, here we are! Thanks Dr. Lanza!