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Friday, September 13, 2019

Driving in Tennessee: Sleeping is the New Texting?

Image result for Tennessee law no text

So I get it.  Tennessee has passed a law that as of July 1st, 2019 no one is allowed to have any cellular device in their hand while driving.  No texting, no calling, no minesweeper.  Nada.  For those with new, fancy cars like my bride this is an easy transition.  Her car comes equipped with Bluetooth and she can pipe in her Pandora music, call a child, or even ask Siri a question without missing a beat.

For me, in my 1999 Ford Ranger, it means putting my phone in the visor strap and if someone calls I risk criminal jail time by hitting the green "accept button."

Then, throwing all caution to the wind and in utter rebellion to Johnny Law, I hit "speaker" to turn my phone into a hands free device. T

A side note, my wife now tells me she can't understand a word I'm saying and usually ends the call saying, "I'll just tell you when you get home."

So there you go Tennessee.  You have effectively hampered marital communication across the state.

But today I saw a driver of an old Honda Civic who hand conquered this problem.

In order to create more time at home for marital communication, this person had put a dream-catcher on their rear-view mirror.

Image result for dreamcatcher in car
Image taken from https://www.amazon.com/LAVAY-Interior-Rearview-Handmade-Accessories/dp/B07NYWJD73

Now, my understanding of the dream-catcher is it is a circle symbolizing the circle of life.  The feathers, beads, or other sundries help remind us of spider webs.  Spiders are  always something I want to associate with my dreams.  The idea is that the dream-catcher traps the bad dreams and holds them until daylight.  How exactly it knows which dreams are bad and which are good is part of the mystery, much like my Yeti mug knows whether to keep something hot or cold.

Now, this is a fascinating idea.  And I want to be clear, if the dream-catcher helps you get a good night sleep I'm 100% on your side.

But, should we have devices in our car that publicly proclaim, "I intend to fall into a deep comma like sleep while driving!"

Think about it.  Consider the plight of the Tennessean who can no longer talk to his wife on his cell phone because his car doesn't have Bluetooth.  He is tired, staying up too late catching up on her day.  And now, he has installed a dream-catcher in his car so as he motors down the highway at 80mph he can have peaceful dreams?

Not wanting to live in fear without research, I turned to amazon.com.  This is what they have to say about the vehicular dream-catcher:

  •  Cute Size: Diameter of Circle: 2.8"/ 7cm, Total length: 15"/ 38cm.
  • ➹ High Quality Material: Handmade yarn grids, natural feathers, bead, retro accessories. This car pendant is fully assembled. No DIY required.
  • ➹ 100% Handmade: Each dream catcher is handmade, and it has passed strict quality control to ensure that it is harmless to the human body and pollution-free environment.
  • ➹ Perfect Decor: This small dream catcher is great as an exquisite decor for car rear-view mirror hanging, car charm pendant, kids bedroom, home, dorm room, living room, wedding party.
  • ➹ Beautiful Legend- Nightmare pass through the dream catcher holes and out of the window; the good dreams are trapped in the web, slide down the feathers to the sleeping person.

So there we have it.  A beautiful legend in your car, made of high quality material, allowing you the peaceful sleep you need.  It reminds me of the quote by Will Rogers:

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.  Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."

My fellow Tennesseans... we have battled drunk driving, driving under influence of narcotics, teenage driving past curfew, and texting while driving.... now we must prepare ourselves for the next challenge.... sleeping while driving.  And to those who like to skirt the law, get your car dream-catchers now before they are outlawed.

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