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Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Emotional Support Bees

Prescott Valley, Ariz., resident David Keller thinks the application process to register an emotional support animal is too easy — so he tried registering a swarm of bees as his service pet.<br data-cke-eol="1">

True story.  David Keller of Prescott Valley, Arizona has applied to register his swarm of bees as an emotional support animal.

Emotional Support Bees

Apparently, anyone can go to the registration site:  https://usaservicedogregistration.com/ and register your animal.

The craziest part of his story is that he was approved.

Now, I am not sure what you do with emotional support bees.

Wife: "Did you pick up milk?"
Husband: "No, I forgot.  Want me to go back out?"
Wife: "You are an absolute failure as a husband and I hate you."
Husband: "At least I have my support bees!"

Trying to picture emotional support bees is difficult.  Do they crawl over you in a full body hug?  Or drip honey into your mouth as a service pet?  Or perhaps they simple attack anyone else near you to provide you a safe space?

If the latter, then I think it would be really cool to have an emotional support grizzly bear.  Or lion.  Or maybe just an emotional support Rhino?

Image result for siegfried and royAll of this made me remember the pioneers of emotional support animals.  Siegfried and Roy.  The two loved to pet, cuddle, and stick their heads in the mouth of beautiful white tigers.  I loved these two and always wanted a white tiger.  Alas, in my day we could have guns at school, got paddled for discipline, and said crazy things like, "Yes Sir."  However, our society was not advanced enough to yet offer emotional support tigers.

So I was forced to watch these two men live the dream from a distance.  Theirs was the most visited show in Las Vegas until one of the tigers got hungry.  Lesson... you must feed your support animal.  Or maybe get them a support rodent?

I for one have taken advantage and registered my dog as Emotional Support Dog # 1427601508.  I'm considering registering the cockroach that scurries around my work desk next.  There is something about the little critter that makes me feel at peace.

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